Bellmore teen's workbook helps kids navigate divorce
Sophia Lancer, a senior at John F. Kennedy High School in Bellmore, has self-published an interactive workbook designed to help young people navigate their parents' divorce. Credit: Dena Lancer
Sophia Lancer wants children and teens whose parents are going through a divorce to know they are not alone.
The senior at John F. Kennedy High School in Bellmore has self-published an interactive workbook, titled "The Road Between Two Homes: A Workbook for Kids When Their Family Changes," designed to help young people navigate their parents' separation. The 107-page book stems from her own experiences after her parents split when she was 6, she said.
Lancer has sold approximately 100 copies and is available on Amazon. The book is also available in all of the guidance offices within the Bellmore-Merrick Central High School District and about 20 other high schools nationwide, she said.
“I was reflecting back on my parents’ divorce and I came to the conclusion that not everyone has the same experience,” said Lancer, 17. “I created this workbook because I wanted a space for other kids to feel that they’re not alone and that everyone has their own unique experience.”
Lancer, who wrote the workbook over seven months last year, shaped the text by surveying dozens of people who grew up with divorced or separated parents that she knew personally or had connected with through divorce-themed groups on Facebook. Their input helped her to determine “what helped, what hurt and what they wish someone had said,” she said.
The workbook includes a list of essential items for kids to pack when travelling back and forth between homes — such as a toothbrush, clothing and stuffed animals — and a page that lets them lay out the decorations and furniture in their new bedroom.
The back of the book has a Certificate of Courage.
“It lets the kid know that they got through this, that they are extremely resilient and that they can continue on their journey,” she said.
Lancer was recently honored for her efforts with the New York State School Boards Association’s Tomorrow’s Leaders Today Award, which recognizes students who “take initiative on their own ... to make a difference in their school or community,” according to her school district.
“It’s such a caring thing for a teenager to do, and it’s something we’re really proud of her for,” said John F. Kennedy Principal Gerard Owenburg.
Lancer is also president of her school’s Students Against Destructive Decisions (SADD) Club and volunteers each weekend at Way Finder TRIBE in Mineola, participating in art, fitness and music activities with individuals on the autism spectrum.
Nominate a Long Islander who goes above and beyond or serves as an inspiration to their community. Send details and photograph to Michael Ebert, michael.ebert@newsday.com (photos should be high-resolution). Photos maybe used in other publications affiliated with Newsday.
Michael R. Ebert is an education researcher and has worked for Newsday in various capacities since 2003. He was part of an 11-person team named as 2008 Pulitzer Prize finalists for investigative coverage of the LIRR's platform safety issues.
