Susan Lucci talks about her memoir, Nelson DeMille, 'All My Children'

"All My Children" ended nearly 15 years ago, shocking devoted fans, including the most devoted of them all. Susan Lucci rode this pony over a 41-year span, as the fiery, mercurial, serial bride Erica Kane, and — in the bargain — became the most famous soap opera star in the world.

But, in an epilogue later added to her first memoir, "All My Life" — published six months before the last episode — she unleashed her inner Erica with a broadside at ABC. (Canceled! To make room for "The Chew," no less!) She saw this as a betrayal by the network, and as anyone who knows Lucci might attest, to betray is a scurrilous act indeed.

That was then, and this is now: On Tuesday, her second memoir, "La Lucci" (Blackstone, $29.99), arrives with a radically different perspective and energy. Lucci, 79, has moved on, far beyond, to a particularly raw, vulnerable place that may surprise those still-devoted fans. They've seen various shades of La Lucci (an old Regis Philbin endearment) over the years, but it's probably fair to say they've never seen these. That droll endearment aside, "La Lucci" (written with Laura Morton) is a mostly heartfelt portrait of love, faith and grief. Her husband of 52 years, Helmut Huber, died of a stroke at the age of 84 in 2022. As she explains here, he was literally her everything — manager, creative partner, closest friend, and much else.

"In the past, I believe I was more reserved and cautious about exposing my emotions," she says in the book. "But writing and editing at the same time as I was grieving the loss of my husband brought a ferocious river — making that a flood — of emotions running toward me that I never expected to experience, let alone share."

This Garden City native — she was raised here, and here she remains — spoke with Newsday recently. (The following was edited for clarity and length):

Your book is really about grief. Walk me through how you're doing right now.

I'm doing fine and yes, the book is about grief but also about a journey of making choices when I didn't think I had any — and sharing those choices I made on this journey so that people can share my story — what I've been through and maybe what they have too. As humans, we're bonded, and this was a way to connect.

Reading this, it almost sounds like you had clinical depression after Helmut's death. Did you ever think you needed therapy to get through this?

I didn't at that point, but I know it's different for everyone. I knew that I did have a way to pull myself up. I'd always wanted to be an actress [but] when he passed, I couldn't imagine being on a stage or in front of a camera. And then I realized being an actress was one of the many blessings I had — and had an opportunity again. I had turned down a number of things [after Helmut's death] which is not my style at all, but as I said in the book, about eight weeks before I had made a commitment to do "Celebrity Biography" [a Drama Desk-winning stage show by Eugene Pack, in which celebrities, tongue firmly planted in cheeks, read from their own memoirs]. I did it at Adelphi, in my hometown, one night only, and it was hilarious. A great, fun night, and it was my opportunity to get back on my feet and do what I can still do. Anyone who has lost a great love will understand what I went through and you're quite right — it is raw and vulnerable but it's a journey full of gratitude, that I was able to find my resilience once again.

You write quite a bit about personal faith here, and mention that you even consulted Monsignor Jim Vlaun [the CEO of Rockville Centre-based Catholic Faith Network]. Can you elaborate?

He was a help for me, and I realize how many blessings I have had in my life and I'm so grateful for them — and so grateful to God for creating Helmut Huber, and to love like that, not to be Pollyannaish. I prayed to God for strength, too. [Pauses] I've never talked about my faith openly before, and it's not meant in any way to alienate anyone. Your own faith is your own choice, but this is how mine worked.

You also write about the term "radical acceptance" — that hard-stop moment when you realize that you finally had to accept what happened. Do you recall the exact time?

It took me a while and it wasn't easy — that's for sure, especially when your nature is not to accept something like that. I'll never be one to throw up my hands [and say] "Oh well, that's the way it is!" I'd go under, through, around the wall to try not to. But I guess I had met my match. I knew I had no choice. I finally came to my thought, where God has a plan, and this is part of it, and, boy, I sure wish it wasn't.

One of your chapters cites that line from "A Farewell to Arms" — "the world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places." Where are your broken places and are they stronger?

Oh yes, they are! And I'm so glad you picked up on that. I love Hemingway, and it was a line very much connected to Helmut. We had skied at Galtür in the Austrian Alps, and that's where Hemingway wrote when he wasn't in Key West or other places. [Hemingway wrote a couple of short stories there in the 1920s.]

So much of the book is about Helmut. Tell me about him. You met at the Garden City Hotel?

I've been interviewed so many times, and all I wanted to do was just talk about him! I did meet him at the Garden City Hotel my first summer after my [college] freshman year. My first year [there] was his last year as executive chef — he then went on to head the food and beverage operations of the hotel chain when I came back the following year so the magic of the timing! I had no idea what I was doing as a waitress and wanted to be a hostess. I didn't know how to carry a tray, and one night I was carrying the tray with two hands and after I'd also messed up an order, and he started saying in his Austrian accent, "and your skirt is too short, young lady. You are not a teeny bopper."

He was always very dignified — tall and handsome — and he was so funny. He had wanted to be a race car driver, but you needed money for that and he didn't come from a wealthy family, but he was a very good skier and had been invited to the Austrian [Olympic] team when he was 18 but finished his [culinary] apprenticeship instead.

You also write about your decades-long friendship with another famous Long Islander, Nelson DeMille, whom you also write quite a lot about here. [The bestselling novelist died in 2024.)

Oh I miss Nelson and everyone misses him. He was so warm and genuine, and he and Helmut were just themselves when they were together — very comfortable in their own skins, and loved laughing and sharing anecdotes. But Nelson was the best buddy I ever had, and he was the one who encouraged me to write this second book.

The book is often a moving tribute to the people you love, but there's a sadness to it as well — shrouded in mortality and a sense of life's passing. I never thought I'd be talking to Susan Lucci about death, but here we are. You also write about your own brushes with mortality — two stent operations for coronary blockage. Do you think much about your own mortality?

Yes, yes, it's certainly about all that, but it's also about humor and vulnerability. I hope there's also a sense of lightness and strength going through it because I am grasping my life with both hands. I realize I do have this gift of life and I have been blessed with so many things.

I suppose I do have to ask about that ridiculous Emmy drought because you joke in the book about getting asked about it all the time — 19 nominations in a row, no wins until 1999. In the book, you quote that letter from "All My Children" creator Agnes Nixon, who blames it on those (now defunct) blue-ribbon panels, which sounds plausible to me. Was there any other logic to this nonsense?

You know, [Erica Kane] was such a busy, busy character and not someone who could be whittled down to the three scenes those panels had to judge [and] it was almost impossible for me [to select them]. I was happy just to be nominated, but Shelley Winters came to the studio one summer day [after another loss], just hanging around the hair and makeup room. She had just come from the Actors Studio, and told me she and everyone else at the Actors Studio loved my work.

Much better than an Emmy! By the way, speaking of Erica Kane, will she be making a return one of these days? Kelly Ripa — your former castmate on "All My Children" — has mentioned the possibility of a pair of Lifetime movies to wrap up the story.

Kelly would know better than I do if it's in the works [but] I think I learned early on how important it is to be in the hands of people like Agnes Nixon and [head writer] Lorraine Broderick. I'd look at their scripts every day and think, "Oh my God, this is fantastic." Of course I'm willing to listen to what they have in mind.