Suffolk officials, families share expertise, experiences at missing persons event

Twelve years have passed since Ida Mayer last saw her husband, Robert.

Her heart still skips a beat whenever she hears a new report of unidentified remains being found, she said. Each time, it could mean the closure that remains elusive.

"All we have left right now is hope," she said.

Mayer shared her story Saturday at a Missing and Unidentified Persons Day event at the Brentwood Fire Department. The event brought together experts from the Suffolk County Medical Examiner's Office, Suffolk District Attorney's Office, Suffolk County Police Department and other agencies that assist with locating missing individuals. A similar event was last held in 2019.

Experts shared insight into law enforcement efforts to find missing people, varying circumstances that lead to disappearances, advances in technology to identify remains and cautionary tales of human trafficking in Suffolk County.

They also discussed programs that help locate missing individuals, including the National Missing and Unidentified Persons System, known as NamUs, a national database for law enforcement and medical examiners.

Mayer, 58, of Dix Hills, was joined by her children Robert, 27, and Ariana, 23, who last saw their father the night before his disappearance, when they were watching "Family Guy" on television.

An electrician, Robert Mayer returned home from his job in Brooklyn in the mid-afternoon in 2013 and left about 10 minutes later, Ida Mayer said. His car was later found at the Deer Park train station. She said there are "bits and pieces of things that we've pieced together throughout the years" but added some information she does not discuss publicly since it's still an open investigation. Court records show Mayer privately struggled with addiction.

On Saturday, a picture of their father, who was 46 at the time he was last seen, was displayed on a large poster board.

"After 12 years, I still can't wrap my head around this," Ida Mayer said, adding that she no longer believes her husband could be found alive.

Odette Hall, Suffolk County's chief medical examiner, said 600,000 people annually are reported missing in the United States. And while many are later located, others end up like Robert Mayer, and the "impacts to friends and families is devastating," Hall said.

Suffolk Det. Ken Buckheit discussed many of the steps police take to begin a missing person investigation and debunked the myth that a case cannot begin until after 24 hours.

NamUs currently lists 96 missing persons cases in Suffolk County, including Mayer. Some date to the late 1960s. Five are from 2024, ranging in age from 16 to 33 at the time of disappearance. Another 50 names are listed in Nassau.

Amy Rapkiewicz, deputy chief medical examiner, discussed how her office works to identify remains. Currently, there are about 210 unidentified human remains in the county, most of which are skeletonized, she said.

"This is an ongoing, intensive project that involves really a deep, dedicated time on the part of the medical examiner's office," she said.

District Attorney Ray Tierney talked about a cold case unit created last year to solve homicides and review death investigations. He said advances in technology have created a "completely new landscape" for investigators to reexamine old cases.

He said the goal "first and foremost" is to bring "closure to the families who are missing loved ones."

As the event concluded, a sliver of hope emerged for the Mayer family when law enforcement members encouraged them to submit a buccal swab to collect DNA for forensic testing that could one day help with identifying remains. Ida Mayer said she thought the information was already on file years earlier, but if it could help to do it again, they would try.

"We just want to make sure we covered every option," she said. "I need to be able to sleep at night."

By Joe Werkmeister

joe.werkmeister@newsday.com

Joe Werkmeister joined Newsday in 2022 and covers Suffolk County government and politics. He is a graduate of St. Bonaventure University and previously worked as the editor of two North Fork community newspapers.

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